“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
– Rumi
In your pursuit of personal development, you may have come across the idea of “becoming the best version of yourself”. The truth is, I wince a bit when I hear this: when did we decide true growth had to be a perfected, polished version of ourselves? What if instead growth is about embracing and integrating all parts of who we are into a stronger, more coherent whole? Imagine the possibilities if we viewed growth as the practice of embracing curiosity toward the parts of ourselves that feel least loveable, and learned to honor and grieve the wounds we carry.
This is where therapy can help. Emotional maturity and the health of your nervous system involve holding two truths at once: you are both a masterpiece and a work in progress. Healing is a lifelong journey, where each courageous step brings us closer to loving our whole self. If you’re doubting your journey or feel like you’re not seeing the kind of results you’d expected, look deeper. Growth is not-linear. Please be gentle with yourself.
Check in with your experience and learnings so far. Even the smallest step on the path adds up – and each is monumental in the journey towards inner growth. How many of these deeper experiences resonate with you?
1. You’re more comfortable with discomfort.
You notice a genuine curiosity about yourself, about why you feel the way you do and how that all makes sense. Your discomfort has transformed into a treasure chest of opportunity, ripe with wonder. You begin to recognise that you have personal power to meet discomfort with sensitivity, kindness and generosity. Self-judgement is diminishing, replaced by the understanding that there are answers within you awaiting discovery. Rather than seeking to feel better, you start getting better at – well – feeling.
2. You welcome big feelings.
You notice that big feelings no longer overwhelm you in the ways they once did. Your urgency and reactivity surrounding those feelings is starting to make sense. You begin to differentiate between what is a repeating pattern and what is something new, perhaps identifying the grief surrounding a lack of nurturing during childhood. You recognise these big feelings are part of your healing process; with time, they begin to feel less like a burden and more like a chance to grow.
3. Your turn inwards to seek the younger version of yourself.
You start to seek the younger parts of yourself that hold intense emotions. You feel capable in helping those parts feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure. You begin to acknowledge the ways you were not held as a child and start recognising how this has affected your adult relationships. You’re establishing deeper self-compassion and understand that you can now accept and integrate your younger selves into your modern experience. You turn toward yourself more often, with more gentleness and less resistance.
4. You are empowered to observe your feelings with curiosity.
You are becoming your own witness, observing with love, and no longer believe you need to “get over” things or that your pain pales in comparison to others. You start to hear the origins of these thoughts more clearly and recognise that they no longer align with your understanding of trauma and instead just hinder your growth. You feel empowered to make different choices, with more space to respond rather than react. You’re softening, tending to yourself and moving away from survival mode. The world might start to feel different as your nervous system starts to heal and your perception of reality shifts.
5. You’re listening to yourself and meeting your needs more.
You notice you no longer ruminate or dwell in the same way. Instead, you start listening inwardly for your unmet needs and longings. You become more discerning about who can meet those needs and – crucially – who cannot. You also develop the ability to meet some of those needs within yourself. As you connect with your true self, who remained unscathed despite childhood challenges, you feel more grounded and present. You feel courage to let go, even just a little, and in doing so, you release sadness and grief. You recognise that change often involves loss, but that loss is part of the healing process.
6. You’re empowered through self-reflection.
Instead of seeking external answers, you feel supported to look inward. You recognise that constant searching for outside validation or answers may be rooted in fear or distrust of yourself. Over time, you develop the ability to work with your overwhelm, empowered by a clearer understanding of what your system needs. Habits and compulsions become insightful clues, guiding you to meet those needs with compassion. You start to trust your own process and feel more connected to your inner world and its valuable source of wisdom. Your inner world is becoming a sacred map for growth and self-integration.
7. You’re trusting the process and embracing vulnerability.
You’ve learned to trust the sensations of your body as they arise, like watching weather passing through. You understand that these feelings won’t harm you but need to be held safely in order to complete their process. You honour the role of the steady, loving presence within yourself. Your self-compassion flows outward, affecting your relationships and your environment. As your inner world becomes safer, your outer world shifts into coherence.
8. You embrace the unknown with a sense of safety.
Instead of fearing the unknown, you trust that you can sit with it. As big feelings surface, you develop a deep understanding of the younger parts of you that grip these emotions. You recognise that you’ve spent time caring for and getting to know these parts and, in turn, they now know that you care. Your inner relationships become stronger and more reliable, providing a foundation for peace and self-compassion.
9. Your inner world has become a safer place.
You feel you can simply be yourself without judgment. What once felt like rejection or shame now transforms into self-acceptance and compassion. You begin to forgive yourself more easily, letting go of the hunger for quick-fix solutions. You stop avoiding the healing process and start embracing it, even when it feels messy or unclear. You develop more capacity to sit with difficult feelings, no longer seeing them as a threat but as part of the journey toward wholeness.
Therapy and one-on-one counselling offers a safe space to explore these patterns and begin the work of reconnecting – with yourself, with others and with your future. The journey starts with a single step. For more information or to begin your own healing process, book in for a complimentary 15-minute call with Meeray.
These blogs are intended as an educational resource, not medical advice, and do not replace the care and nuance of individual therapy.
image credits | raw pixel | tracy helgeson | esther sarah kim | even venegas