Therapy can help you ‘seed’ your future healing, let’s look at how
The modern world – obsessed as it is with efficiency and results-driven experiences – often overlooks the timeless principles of depth psychology and what we can learn from wisdom traditions. True transformation arises from the quiet rhythms of self-understanding and integration. Together, as your therapy guide and counsellor, we will not rush toward catharsis but rather use curiosity to find a way to honour the natural flow of your psyche and body.
Choosing the deeper, slower path of therapy is an act of quiet rebellion. It’s like watering the seed and letting the sun nurture it before it has broken the soil’s surface. It’s about faith and trust in a process and in life. Nature beautifully embodies the pace of sustainable change. It’s seasonal, cyclical and often sequential, though rarely linear. There is a constant ebb and flow of expansion and contraction. Autumn follows summer, and winter leads into spring. Nature, like true healing, teaches us the skill of patience and steady devotion.
After thousands of hours spent with clients, I’ve come to deeply trust in the power of this process. Over time, the hardness softens and the reactivity of past programming starts to melt and move, which gives way to the natural state that exists beneath. Therapy simply creates the right conditions in a reliable and steady way for this to occur.
Creating a sacred space
Irish poet and philosopher John O’Donohue’s classic book To Bless the Space Between Us captures the image of the therapy space, this landscape we create between two people. Rumi, the great mystic, also alludes to this space between us: “Out beyond ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
I like to think of therapy in much the same way. Here, judgement is suspended, and our greatest intention is to approach with curiosity. It can also be very playful, because if we are discovering, trying new things and exploring, it’s like almost a return to the childlike space where the world can be encountered with openness.
Sometimes, speaking about our pain or confusion can sometimes cause us to disconnect from the experience itself, which adds to our distress. We may find ourselves caught in the paradox of either reliving our emotions or simply narrating them for another to hear. Therapy invites us to go beyond words and truly connect with the full depth of our experience; in so doing, we bring more grounding to the present moment.
Consider your therapy session as a gym or workshop space. It’s OK to feel like a beginner, to “try things on for size” and to play around with trial and error. We’ll get comfortable with authentic expression, and practice reflecting honestly and vulnerably without blame, shame or criticism. With enough practice and exposure, this starts to build more muscle to practice those skills in one’s life.
So where does the therapist come in?
The therapist is not merely a listener, nor a fixer. They are a companion on your journey, an attuned presence who offers safety, guidance and empathy. My role is not to provide quick answers, but to hold space for your process, your unfolding and your discovery.
For the client, therapy offers a sacred invitation to turn inward, to face parts of themselves long buried or ignored. It requires a willingness to be vulnerable, to engage with the raw material of their psyche. This process is not without discomfort. True transformation is slow, organic, and often invisible in the moment. It unfolds over time, just as a seed gradually becomes a mighty tree, its roots deepening and expanding with each passing year.
You are brave for considering therapy.
If you’re here, reading this, your transformation is already in motion.
What if I’m scared of my demons or triggers?
Hey, you’re not alone. The notion of triggers is another vital aspect of this deeper process. Triggers often emerge when we are confronted with situations that remind us of past hurts or unresolved emotional wounds. Rather than viewing them as obstacles, therapy invites us to see them as opportunities for growth. What triggers us often points to the parts of us that are calling for attention. Each trigger offers a doorway into deeper self-awareness and healing.
When we can embrace our triggers with curiosity, we begin to understand the unspoken agreements we made in our past to ensure our survival. These agreements, often formed in childhood or early relationships, become the unconscious patterns that shape how we engage with the world.
Perhaps you learned to dismiss your feelings, or to seek approval at the expense of your own authenticity. Through therapy, we are given the space to examine these patterns, to gently challenge them, and ultimately to transform them.
We will build a space for you to move beyond your triggers and build new foundations for healing.
My body feels a bit… weird. Is that normal?
It is. Therapy is not merely a cognitive exercise; it is a somatic and relational one. The body holds memories, emotions and trauma that cannot be easily accessed through words alone. Somatic tools in therapy offer the client a way to reconnect with the body and its wisdom.
It goes like this: the body speaks through the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS), which reveals hidden truths about our emotional and psychological states. As we become more attuned to our body’s sensations, we begin to recognise where we are holding tension, where we are shutting down and where we can release old patterns that no longer serve us.
Through somatic practices, we can create space for healing that transcends the intellectual understanding of our experiences. It’s a double-whammy, and it just keeps getting better.
Embrace the slow
Just as nature moves in cycles of growth and rest, therapy unfolds in its own rhythm. It’s always moving forward, but sometimes that may not always be immediately visible. At times, the work of therapy may feel intense, disorienting, or even unbearable. We cannot rush the process.
But when we look back, months or years later, we may realise the depth of the transformation that has taken place. This is the nature of deep, soul-level work: it requires patience, it requires trust, and it requires the willingness to sit with discomfort as we shed old skin and grow into something new.
Congratulations, you’ve planted the seed
Just as a seed needs time, nourishment and care to grow, so too does our healing. You’ll meet yourself where you are and come to embrace the full spectrum of your experience.
Therapy is the quiet stillness in which that seed is planted. It is through this process that we come to know the wisdom within us. Your garden will get weeded regularly as new awareness arises, making way for the seed to flourish and grow stronger.
There will be pruning seasons and storms, but you’ll come to build significant roots so you can weather these events. The sun will shine again. You’re growing, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Keep in mind
If you want to go further into some of the ideas explored above, there’s a book for that. Here are some of my favourite books to help you go deeper into understanding your healing journey and the potential for long-lasting change ahead.
1. To deep dive into the ways that dreams, myths, and symbols reflect our inner worlds, try: Man and His Symbols by Carl Jung. It’s a foundational work that explores the power of symbols in the unconscious mind and their role in personal transformation and healing.
2. To understand how we can release trauma through body-based practices, try: Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine. This book offers an insightful look at how trauma is stored in the body and provides tools for somatic healing, helping us to reconnect with the body’s innate ability to heal.
3. To explore the deep somatic wisdom we often ignore, try: The Wisdom of the Body by Alexandra Pope and Susannah Hume. A profound exploration of the body’s intelligence, this book emphasises the role of the body in healing, especially in the context of menstruation, the menstrual cycle, and female empowerment.
4. To discover somatic tools for healing and better understand the importance of connection in therapy, try: Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller and Aline Lapierre. This book delves into the intricacies of developmental trauma, offering a framework for understanding and healing early-life wounds.
5. To meditate on the soul’s journey through loss and healing, try: When the Heart Breaks by David Whyte. A collection of poetry and prose that reflects on heartbreak and the human condition, David Whyte’s words invite a deeper reflection on the vulnerability, pain, and beauty of life.
6. To invite deeper healing and growth, try: To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue. This poetic exploration of blessings offers a beautiful guide to the spiritual practice of blessing oneself and others, with O’Donohue speaking to the sacredness of life’s transitions.
7. To find deep insights into living with integrity and self-truth, try: A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer. This book focuses on the soul’s journey toward integration and authenticity. Parker explores the idea of wholeness, revealing the importance of connecting with one’s true self, especially in times of confusion and distress.
8. To build a roadmap for nurturing resilience in the face of trauma, try: Nurturing Resilience by Kathy Pain and Stephen J. Terrell. This book offers practical tools and strategies for building emotional strength, enhancing the capacity to handle stress, and fostering long-term healing.
9. To read the lived experience of someone going through this very process, try: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb. A personal and candid memoir about the author’s own experience in therapy, this book is both humorous and poignant. Lori Gottlieb shares insights about the therapeutic process from both sides of the couch, highlighting the universal human experience of seeking connection, healing, and understanding.
image credits | joanna concejo | s. berger | flor garduño | e árbol de yalalag